So you’re in a relationship and everything is going swimmingly. You just can’t get enough of each other physically and all you can focus on is the next time you’re going to be together. You’re emotionally in tune with each other, you know what each other want and how to make each other happy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this was the only stage of a relationship?
Relationships can’t always be this way as mentioned in our blog titled Five Stages of Relationships. The second stage called the battle or power struggle stage is one of the first times where the spark wanes and people often get bored. Thankfully there and strategies that you can employ to get past this perceived relationship boredom.
One of these strategies is to plan an activity that you both haven’t done before. Plan an activity that is something that will give you a new shared experience that you can get excited and nervous about together. You’ll need to help and rely on each other to get you through and this can bring you closer together and help you to realise how much you can accomplish together as a team. Step a little out of your comfort zone to get the blood flowing again.
If you’re not ready to step out of your comfort zones then perhaps you can agree on a television series that you can enjoy together. With the convenience of all the streaming sites this should be something that could be spontaneously carried out at short notice. It will give you something to discuss and debate whilst also being able to spend quiet time at home with your favourite drop, snacks and house clothes. This is a particularly good strategy especially if one of you has the quality time love language which you can find out about on our blog titled Love Languages and Zodiac Signs.
A third such strategy would be to plan something together that you can both look forward to. This could be a weekend getaway, a staycation or a special overseas trip to somewhere your partner has always wanted to visit. This will give both of you something to get excited about. You’ll be planning and talking about it regularly to ensure you pack all the right kind of activities into it that you can both enjoy and experience together.
A strategy that I once employed rather successfully was to create a monthly outing together. Each month you take it in turns to plan a day out somewhere on things such as a picnic, a trip to a nearby island, a national park you’ve never been to before or perhaps a local tourist attraction that you haven’t got around to visiting. The partner responsible for the planning needs to plan everything such as food, transport, tickets and any potential special clothing required for the occasion. A key ingredient of this is secrecy. Whilst it’s not a surprise day out, the surprise is in the location and/or activity. Great planning, effort and thought can win you quite a big slice of credit in the relationship bank.
Our final strategy involves trying to replicate your favourite date(s) that you’ve previously enjoyed. This one is a little trickier as you don’t want to ruin a good memory but if you get it right, it can really help to jump you back to a happier time in your relationship. The fact that you have remembered details about the good dates you’ve had is also a bonus. It also enables you to reminisce once you’re there about your previous time there and instantly gives you something common to talk about.
Remember, a key to healthy relationships is communication. Good communication can make for a great relationship and even an argument is still a form of communication. All of these suggested strategies mean that you’ll have a common topic of communication that you can both get into. This will hopefully help to relieve any sense of boredom that you are feeling and allow you to rekindle a light inside of you for each other to enable you to feel closer together. It is also good to remember that most relationships are at their strongest when you’re ok to be a little bit bored together. Boredom shouldn’t be taken as a sign that things are coming to an end but rather as an opportunity to reignite some excitement into your time.
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