Is Your Friend Really A Friend, Would They Ask You This Question?
From the outside, everything is rosy in your friend’s life. Regularly posting happy snaps of themselves with their partner, status updates that point to them being madly in love and they’re always busy when you want to hang out. They both have stable jobs and nice clothes and seem to be the envy of every couple.
So rightfully you assume that your friend is in a happy place and just doesn’t have the time to hang out because they can’t get enough time with their partner. So why should you think to ask if everything is ok in their relationship? It must be right, everything we see on social media is the truth and they wouldn’t possibly post happy snaps if they weren’t happy, would they?
Maybe their relationship is stalling, maybe it’s rocky or maybe it’s in freefall and it’s all just an act to hide the truth. If their relationship appears great then it must be great mustn’t it? If I ask them they’ll think I’m jealous and snooping and not being a good friend won’t they?
A lot of people act as though nothing is wrong when in fact everything in their life can be coming down around them. They act strong and tough on the exterior, portraying an outward look of strength. Their feelings inside are eating away at them and they keep showing strength until they can no longer hide it. By then it’s too late and a complete meltdown in their relationship and in general can ensue.
It’s always ok to check in on your friends and ask them how they are. Even the most stable and loving relationships from the outside can have troubles. Your friend just might be crying out for someone to talk to and ask them how everything is. They may be longing for that listening ear but are too shy to ask and reveal the truth.
They might need a stepping stone to help them talk about their situation and by asking them sincerely you can lay that stepping stone. Whether they choose to take the path is up to your friend but at least show you’re waiting along that path for them. A simple chat may make such a huge difference to their mindset and be enough to smooth things over in their mind. It may be that you can offer reassurance that things that are happening are just a stage and normal in all relationships and can easily be overcome.
If their problems can be talked about with a trusted friend then it’s a step in the right direction to fixing them. No relationships is without problems, it’s just how people deal with them that keeps relationships on track. Maybe they’re too familiar with each other and need to cure relationship boredom or too busy at work and make no time for each other Maybe they’re arguing over finances or their partner’s friends or relatives.
The key to fixing any problems is communication. Sometimes they need that sounding board first before they approach their partner to try and resolve their problems. Not everyone has the stomach to tell their friends about their problems without being asked first so go on and ask them if everything is ok. A simple how are you and x getting on may be all it takes
If your friend trusts you enough to confide in you then do everything you can to uphold that trust. They may be on a downward spiral and if the reality gets out it may make things worse for them. Be there for them so they can count on you. You might need them one day too and it will help bring you closer to each other.